


Not our thoughts but our actions.

by DamnyouMaster



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3109133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamnyouMaster/pseuds/DamnyouMaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 2 episode 8.<br/>Clarke can't seem to be able to handle her actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not our thoughts but our actions.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry?

Clarke stood in front of the rows of grounders all of them forming a loose circle around her, Lexa and…and Finn.

The knife was bloody and heavy in her shaking hands. She looked up at the face of the Grounder leader and was shocked to find proudness and respect inked across her scarred face. Her breaths were becoming thinner and quicker as she looked back at the lifeless body of her once lover.

Ravens cries were echoing throughout the trees and seemed to intensify with the tension. Lexa looked her over once more and nodded.

“The truce has begun. We shall speak soon on our plans for the mountain men.” Clarke barely registered what she said but nodded silently as sobs threatened to break from her chest. The knife, she noticed, was stiff and tense in her palm but Clarke made no move to remove it.

She looked up at her people unknown to their thoughts on her actions.

Bellamy stood out beyond them all knelt on the floor weighed down by a convulsing Raven. She wanted to run from their prying eyes, run from their judgmental thoughts, fun from her own disgrace…

Instead, her feet dragged against the dusty floor as she made her way solemnly to the top of the hill where her mom and Bellamy and everything else waited.

As she entered the gates Raven tore from Bellamy’s arms and lunged at Clarke. Clarke took every blow with no move to protect herself, she took every harsh word into account because she deserved it.

“H-how could you do that?! You… you looked him in the eye and killed him! M-m-my only family, Clarke… My… my only family! You’re a murderer, a cold blooded fucking killer. Everyone would be better off if you were just… just dead!”

Her punches grew feeble as she sobbed on the floor.

“Better if you were just dead…” Raven repeated looking up at her with cold, honest, teary eyes. And, she knew Raven meant it.

“Raven, enough.” His strong voice filled the painful silence but she ignored him throwing every insult she could think of between sobs at Clarke. “I said _enough_ ” Guards came and lifted a kicking raven towards the med bay while Bellamy leant over Clarke.

She had blood running from her nose, a small cut on her eyebrow and her lip. Her body ached and her ribs were obviously broken.

“Clarke, stand up for me, please?” He pleaded his dark eyes staring into hers with a fierce intensity but she stayed silent and still. “Please?” he tried again and she leant up barely flinching at her ribs and shakily made her way to her feet.

Her feet took off, running, towards the trees. Bellamy close on her heels but panic grew in his chest when he realized the familiar route to the cliff where Charlotte jumped. Pumping his legs faster he nearly caught up with her… then, she stopped.

Turning and facing him with a dirty and bloody face. Tears made clear paths down her cheeks and fell onto her chapped lips sliding off her chin onto the floor. Her normally bright eyes were red and dark with sorrow and guilt.

She still had the knife in her hands and it was still covered in blood. Looking at it she gazed curiously at the lade stroking the blade softly.

“Clarke, step away from the edge and give me the knife.” He said his voice shaking with defeat and fear.

She shook her blond curls.

“Please, I need you, please, princess, please!” he pleaded scared tears forming in his eyes. “I-I can’t… I can’t lose you too.”

“Octavia never left, she’ll be back soon…” Clarke’s voice was raspy and dry. Cold and flat. Emotionless.

“No, Clarke, please” Silence yet she didn’t move “If you do this… if you do this all of our last achievements will have been for nothing!”

Branches rustled beside him and familiar black curls appeared from the leaves. He rushed forward and dragged his sister from the bush both of them sharing identical grins.

“It wasn’t for nothing” her voice made Bellamy freeze and Octavia’s breathes shorter.

Bellamy turned quickly watching in slow motion when Clarke’s hands shakily brought the knife to her chest and stabbed. He caught her in his arms before she hit the floor and brought his face to her hair rushing to put pressure on the wound in her chest.

“Bell, I’m sorry” Octavia’s voice rang from the trees. But he shook his black curls his tears mixing with Clarkes.

“I-I love… you…” her voice was suddenly filled with happiness and sounded almost content as her chest heaved with forced breaths.

“Clarke, no, I love you too, Clarke!” Bellamy sobbed as her chest grew motionless and the air that was once filled with raspy breaths turned silent once more. “Help me… O, please” he had finally resided her asking his little sister for help.

She shook her head, tears falling from her now dimmed eyes, sobs ripped from his chest as he picked her up in his arms.

“Let’s go back to camp” He growled tears still rolling down his face.

They arrived at camp and everyone stood silent and still as the feature of Clarke came into view. He continued to walk, his face stony and inked with tears.

Abby spotted him and Octavia and came rushing forward. When her eyes landed on Clarke a scream ripped from her throat sobs wracking her body as she mumbled something like _I just got her back_

Raven rushed from the med bay and watched in horror as Clarke’s body came into view. Her cries were more heart-breaking than the ones she shed for Finn.

“She’s not… Please,” Raven sobbed as he came to a halt outside the med-bay. “I was lying; she died thinking… she died thinking I hated her… I don’t hate her! Make her come back! Please, just…”

Every stood in a frozen silence at the sight of Clarke.

Bellamy placed her on a cot in the med bay before storming towards his tent. Octavia close on his heels.

“I-I could’ve stopped her O, I could’ve” He cried into his palms. She rested her head on his shoulder and he pulled her closer crying into her hair while tears soaked his t-shirt.

***

3 months later:

The rest of the 100 were finally back from mount weather and drowned Bellamy in hugs before moving onto their awaiting family.

But when Monty came up to Bellamy he asked the unavoidable question.

“Where’s Clarke?” Bellamy bit his lip and clenched his fists looking away. “She... She’s not?” Monty gasped but let out a small cry of anguish when Bellamy nodded stiffly. “Where’s Finn?”

“Dead.”

Monty’s hands shook and he spread the word for Bellamy so he didn’t need to retell the story. Soon everyone had either tears in their eyes or tears down their face.

Some of the Original 100 was sat in a tight circle exchanging stories of Clarke when Raven asked:

“Did you love her? Because she loved you…” Her voice held a tone of jealousy but he shrugged it off biting his lip while he nodded. He smiled and answered.

“It’s not our thoughts that define us but our actions…”

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please; comment, kudos and whatever else :)


End file.
